Sunday, July 16, 2006

Mein Kampf

Well time for episode two of “This is Your Life”. There are two chronic problems I deal with everyday. Chronic meaning long term.

1) Depression

I have depression. To put it simply my ‘coming out’ process particularly the shock, pain and isolation triggered major depression (read nuclear blast) and I have chronic depression (read Iraq war) as well. Together they are colloquially deemed double depression which sounds just marvellous and is even better in practice.

I was in full swing and people who have not experienced depression can’t really hope to relate. Which is a damned good thing in most ways. I was suicidal. I was crying non stop, very little sleep at night and sleeping all day. I could barely think most of the time and my short term memory was all over the place. Oh, and I felt like crap too.

I had no clue at the time what was going on. Wasn’t really in the state to figure it out anyway. As fate had it my second problem triggered diagnosis of the first and that was by a doctor I had to see which occurred 8 months after ‘coming out’.

I work on managing my illness now and the major is in decline. Hooray! I take medication which was quite a turnaround for my ‘no drugs whatsoever’ philosophy. Unfortunately Australia ignores issues like these so the degree of support I have is limited. I saw a psychiatrist briefly after the doctor who made the complete diagnosis and helped me with the drugs. Very recently I have had an ultra short session (because it was community based and grossly overloaded) with a psychologist who has laid down the ideas which assist with managing and preventing depression. I am terribly grateful to all three.

Lots of things help depression to greater or lesser degrees. Sunlight works well for me as do the drugs. Exercise helps, getting out, social interaction, reviewing thinking and changing thinking habits does too.

It’s not easy and far from over as the chronic may never go away but I aim to bring it to management much like my second problem so I can get on with dear ol’ life.

2) Hearing Loss

But wait there’s more! I’ve also had hearing loss from birth. It’s pretty serious and the loss is worst at the vocal frequencies. I am not actually ‘deaf’ which really means no appreciable hearing. I wear hearing aids which assist me to hear properly. They are glorified microphones basically. They have improved enormously over the years.

I have worked on this problem since birth and you can bet I’m pretty good at dealing with it. There are still plenty of times it can piss me off and it has serious consequences in communication and social activity. Overall though to me it’s nothing to hyperventilate about.

Don’t tell me to ‘get over it’ or that depression doesn’t exist. Really.

Do not pity me. I don’t need anyone’s pity to wrap me up in a blanket and mollycoddle me. I am capable of dealing with depression and already superbly manage hearing loss. Pity is just vile and leads down the path to the poor me situation of victimhood where you do little more than roll over waiting for someone else to do everything for you. Pity is deadly to people with depression.

Do support me. I only wish our government wanted to.

Good gracious this has ballooned out like Hollywood binge eaters. S.t.o.p T.y.p.i.n.ggg

4 comments:

Trias said...

If you're going to be like that about it... well you're right.

The Answer: (I note you love asking nebulous questions).

a) The best answer. Because it serves the constituents it is empowered by and has a responsibility to. That includes myself but extends further than this. As I pour effort into the struggle with the problems and suffer the consequences of the problems, I am not generating tax. I am not generating local, national or world wealth. In fact I’m draining it. I'm not putting as much into the community or family and all the host of positive things people do. And our government’s other constituents are affected by this too. Sure me alone is no big deal but the host of the many is quite an issue.

b) Who else? It won't be you. Won't be a company. Nor family.

c) Because I’m worth it

AFSister said...

Leave it to John to be the contrarian, and tell you to "get over it"... haha!

Depression is VERY real, and VERY dangerous. I'm glad you're getting help, even with as limited as counselling sessions have been.

Also, being partially deaf isn't too bad these days, considering the advances in hearing aids. I love the fact that you face this issue head-on, like a bull charging a Conservative in Red Pants. *snicker*

Barb said...

It sounds like you are woking it out, and since you are the only one who can (with help), that's a good thing. I don't know what kind of health care people in Australia typically have access to, but the programs I've generally had access to at work *do* include mental health assistance - counseling and medical visits. Some plans don't cover prescriptions of any kind very well, so any chronic illness can be a challenge.
I have a friend who has Multiple Sclerosis, and needs a shot of serum daily - that alone costs him about 2grand a month. So the chronic nature of your illness is not unique, I think.
Whether that should be covered by state funding of some sort is an interesting question.

Trias said...

Well Barb the health care system is very different here. There is no work based health system. Besides that wouldn't help *me* would it.

There are two tiers. Private health insurance you pay thousands per year for which is high quality especially for elective and non urgent treatment.

And the public system which is strong on emergency care but very weak elsewhere.

As a dole recipient I do get access to cheaper doctor visits and some prescription medicine (which TG includes the medicine i'm taking).