Friday, July 14, 2006

I am Gay

When I uttered those three little words the shift of perception was enormous. It was brave I’ll give myself that much. It catalysed enormous change in my core beliefs and all but killed off the friend and family network instantly. I was married and it was to my wife that I first uttered those three words. And then it was time to rebuild.

Now two years later the earthquake and aftershocks have all but stopped. I did suffer and losses have been considerable but with it has come much good. Now I live as a free man more fully me and freedom is sweet indeed. Also with such a struggle and pain I have had the opportunity to learn a lot.

Now it should be abundantly clear why I will always be a liberal. I do stand against every bit of bull many conservatives and even some liberals say about gays. That said the ‘West’ is a true bastion of hope for gay people. That’s because of freedom and what extends from one freedom extends to another.

There ya go short and bittersweet. There’s lots more of course. All in good time.

8 comments:

Barb said...

Being gay and being conservative are not mutually exclusive. I know gay & lesbian folks who lean in the conservative direction versus the liberal - My sister being one of them. So is my previous manager. There are items in the far-right agenda which disturb them (one person I know called it 'throwing the gays under the bus'), but they still stand behind the strong conservative ideals on keeping government small, providing economic opportunity, removing the welfare state, and so on.

You might be interested in the group called "Log Cabin Rebuplicans, comprised of conservatives who happen to be gay or support gay causes:

Who we are

Log Cabin Republicans courageously stand on the front lines of today's most important battleground for gay and lesbian civil rights. We are the nation's leading voice for fairness, inclusion, and tolerance in the GOP.

Our party stands at a crossroads. The GOP must choose between fairness and freedom or intolerance and exclusion. Log Cabin works tirelessly to make sure the Republican Party chooses the right path. Ending up on the wrong side of history will cost the GOP for decades to come. So we tirelessly strive to achieve liberty and equality for all Americans.

What we believe

We are loyal Republicans. We believe in low taxes, limited government, strong defense, free markets, personal responsibility, and individual liberty. Log Cabin represents an important part of the American family-taxpaying, hard working people who proudly believe in this nation's greatness. We also believe all Americans have the right to liberty, freedom, and equality. Log Cabin stands up against those who preach hatred and intolerance. We stand up for the idea that all Americans deserve to be treated equal-regardless of their sexual orientation.

Barb said...

By the way - I didn't mean to ignore the rest of your message. I'm glad that your struggle has been productive. I know that the time my sister spent hiding her lifestyle from our parents gave her much grief. My brother and I knew about Becky's lifestyle years before Mom and Dad did. The good news is that she told them after they had met her partner (at the time, sadly they are no longer together), and they loved her friend for herself first, then were happy for their daughter's happiness.
(apologies for dominating your comments today!)

AFSister said...

I have to say I don't know too many conservative gays, lol.
OK... truth be told, I don't know many gays, but I do know some.
And you know what?
I really don't care. I don't care if my friends are gay or straight, black or white, male or female. If I like ya.... yer my bud. If I don't like ya, it's not because of something as petty as skin color, sex, or sexual orientation. It's because you're an asshat, or ignorant, or a bigot, or arrogant.

That being said.... I support civil unions but not formal marriages between same sex couples. I believe that love transcends gender, nationality, and age- you love who you love, but that does not mean that you should have a union recognized by God under any and all circumstances. Marriage is a religious ceremony, and the bible clearly states "one man, one woman". Civil unions, however, are a public declaration of love and devotion to the government. It's the religious aspect of marriage vs. civil union that makes the difference for me. What is your take on this, Trias?

Trias said...

Thanks for your replies. The short answer AFSister is I don't agree. No doubt I'll post on it sometime but I do not view marriage as a Christian owned thing.

FbL said...

Wow. Two years is not so long ago. I'm glad to hear you're doing so well. Gay? Straight? Don't matter to me... except for how it reduces my dating options. ;)

I was a music major (organ) in college and thoroughly enjoyed studying and socializing with my peers in the organ department (numerically totally dominated by males). Unfortunately for straight female me, I could've counted the straight men on one hand!

Glad to see you you've weathered the adjustment storm. I watched many of those music colleagues/friends in college struggle with their growing recognition that deception was not going to be a viable way of life for them, and I have many memories of evaluative glances in the hallways or sitting with someone as he cried. Simply the fact that it's a rough road convinces me that for the vast majority, homosexuality is a psycho-biological imperative, not a "choice."

Best of luck as you continue to carve out a place for you that will bring peace and happiness.

Trias said...

They all say they know *after* hmm?

No I haven't might be an idea.

Trias said...

Actually i haven't had much luck. The search in your blog revealed too little. 'gay' and 'military' are too common.

Blackfive does not seem to have a search engine at all.

Trias said...

Thanks for the link Ry. I suspected there would be a windy argument on it somewhere.

Web search skills? You did fine.